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wife jokes

wife jokes

A man who is a manager …

A man who is a manager in 5 star hotel calls his wife.

Husband : Aaj khaane mein kya pakaya hai?

Wife : Steamed fine long grain white rice hand-picked in the emerald green lap of the Vindhyas, accompanied by a golden lentil soup that was gently simmered over the smouldering kisses of angels.

Husband : matlab..??

Wife : dal chawal….!!

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wife jokes

Husband-Wife !!!

Husband: Kaash main Ganpati hota. Tum roz meri pooja karti, 
         mujhe laddu khilati, bada maza aata.

Wife:    Haan kaash tum Ganpati hote, roz tumko laddu khilati, 
         har saal visarjan karti, naye Ganpati aate, bada maza            aata!

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wife jokes

Husband-Wife as Always !!!!

Sunday fun times

Husband: Aaj khane mein kya banaogi??
Wife: Jo aap kaho?

Husband: Dal chawal bana lo.
Wife: Abhi kal hi to khaye the?

Husband: Toh sabji roti bana lo?
Wife: Bacche nahi khayenge?

Husband: Toh chhole puri bana lo?
Wife: Mujhe heavy heavy lagta hai?

Husband: Eggs bhurji bana lo?
Wife: Aaj guruvaar hai?

Husband: Paraanthe ??
Wife: Raat ko paraanthe kaun khata hai???

Husband: Hotel se mangwa lete hain??
Wife: Roz roz hotel ka nahi khana chahiye?

Husband: Kadhi chawal??
Wife: Dahi nahi hai?

Husband: Idly sambar??
Wife: Usme time lagega. Pehle bolna chahiye tha na!!?

Husband: Maggie hi bana lo, usme time nahi lagega?
Wife: Woh koi meal thodi hai? Pet nahi bharta?

Husband: Phir, ab kya banaogi??
Wife: Jo aap kaho..

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wife jokes

After being married for thirty years !!!!

After being married for thirty years a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her slowly…then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H…. I, J, K.”

She asks….. “What does that mean?”
He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fancy, Gorgeous, Honey.

She smiled happily and said….”Oh, that’s so lovely…..

What about I, J, K?”
He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”

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wife jokes

How to keep a Wife happy !!!!!!!!!

It’s not difficult to keep a wife happy. A man ONLY needs to be:

1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A good understanding
15. An astrologer
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate

45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other girls

51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

54. Never to forget:
* birthdayses
* anniversaries

And now,


1.. Leave him alone.



That’s it! Just leave him alone!!!!!!

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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